Sunday 15 April 2018

A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban



My 20-year-old godson is back at it again, with his Harry Potter movie journey, this time with his Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) review!

In Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban we find the main character again at his evil uncles' house but already a teenager, contrary to the previous chapters. We expect, therefore, typical teenager behaviours: pouting, rebellings and developing a peach fuzz. Well, we don't have to wait long until we see Harry Potter blowing up an aunt, kicking the furniture, and running away from home. In short: typical magical teenager behaviours. The uncles get upset and he ends up leaving the family. Of all the places that could be chosen for refuge on a rainy day after running away from home, our beloved wizard prefers to shelter himself in a cursed playground. Luckily, he doesn't stay there for long. He is rescued by a very weird bus where he makes troubled a trip by London's streets. One of those crazy people from the Knockturn Alley (hunchback and looking very closely at other people) comes in the bus calling Harry into a kind of tavern where his friends are.

When you think the bus trip was already weird enough, on the train trip to Hogwarts a creature appears freezing everything and starting to suck Harry's face. Their compartment is share with a homeless man wrapped in a blanket that wakes and points a light to the creature, which causes it to go away. This beggar later gives Harry Potter a chocolate. I fully understand that he couldn't offer anything else but the truth is that Harry is now a teenager: you can give chocolates to a child but toasting a teenager with sweets is halfway to get them pissed off for receiving candy instead of a mobile phone. Upon arrival at Hogwarts, Dumbledore announces that Hagrid and Lupin (the beggar on the train) are the new teachers. On their first night at Hogwarts, Harry joins a group of friends and plays a teenage game probably involving some kind of narcotic drugs that change the voice of those who eat them.

The highlight of the film is the fight between Harry Potter and three vagabonds: Lupin, Sirius Black and a fat man who was inside Ron's rat. Two of them turn into dogs and the other one into a mouse and they all end up running away. Harry Potter, despite being the best sorcerer in the world, isn't able catch a mouse and two dogs. During the film his only accomplishment was to mount a giant pyriquito, not managing any other feat in animal area.

Characters that stood out in this movie:

Hagrid
He is promoted to Professor, but his lack of experience is notorious. The last time he took children into the woods they were almost attacked by Voldemort, but he still thought it was a good idea to take them to the woods for their first class. Another mistake was to put a bug that likes to be respected in front of teenagers who like to disrespect. Everyone knows that teenagers aren't very polite so it was predictable that, sooner or later, some young man would be kicked by the distinguished bird. Hagrid isn't fired because, judging by his meals (always tea), the hut where he lives and his clothes, he doesn't earn a big salary already. Still, because of this lesson, Malfoy is the one who gets kicks and consequently the animal is doomed to death.

Sirius Black
Early on it's understood that it will be Harry Potter's new enemy. He was the first sorcerer to escape from Azkaban, which gives him some prestige. But when he enters Hogwarts, the best he can do is putting a fat woman next to black pig in one of the school's pictures. When we realize that he is a beggar and also turns into a wolf, it is easy to conclude that Professor Lupin, another homeless man and possible werewolf, will be his friend. In the end Harry Potter and him are very close friends.

Lupin
He's proof that Hogwarts goes from bad to worse. After two failed hires, the third time could be the charm and they could even get a decent teacher. I think this is an unrealistic belief, since to have good teachers you need good wages and the first contact we have with him is sleeping wrapped in a blanket on a train seat. I think he's homeless, and goes to Hogwarts to teach in exchange for accommodation. He seems to be quite a nice man, but the second time he gave Harry some chocolate, I began to mistrust him. Why so much chocolate? Nobody gives this much chocolate to someone else without asking anything in return. It sure is poisoned. He has to be trying to traffic Voldemort in chocolate bars. If Voldemort can get into Harry's body by this mean it can be a good plan, depending on the amount of chocolate ingested.

In conclusion, in this episode we don't see Voldemort but we know that the plump man is made up with him because he's the only one with a bald head. It's in this movie that the Hogwarts School of Magic goes into decline. Underpaid teachers and insufficient safety show that this institution has had better days. It's the third teacher resigning... Three films and they still haven't found the right man for the position.

Don't miss out on his next review on the Goblet of Fire! If you haven't read the previous ones so far, you can find them over here:

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