Sunday 29 April 2018
Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (A Witch's Review)
First of all, let me tell you what this Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery is all about: it's a new mobile game, released on this past 25th of April, based on my favourite book series, Harry Potter. So as you might expect if you know me, I was extremely excited to be able to download it and play it myself. It was marketed as a game where you can create your own character and take on the role of a Hogwarts student, experiencing all seven years and taking part in classes while solving a mystery. My hype was all up, as I was expecting sort of crossover between The Sims game and Hogwarts.
It starts in 1984, a bit after Harry defeated Voldemort for the first time, and it features characters known from the books during their student years like Bill and Charlie Weasley, Nymphadora Tonks and teachers who were working at Hogwarts during that time such as Hagrid, Snape, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Flitwick and Madam Hooch. We also see Filch and Ms. Norris, who are as detestable as always.
Our journey begins creating our character before arriving at Diagon Alley where twe meet Rowan Khanna who advises us to purchase our books from Flourish and Blotts and we then become friends, after getting our names straight. Afterwards, we get a wand from Ollivanders and we find out we have a brother, Jacob, who went missing and, depending on the answer we select in response, we will receive one possible wand wood and core out of three possible ones. We arrive at Hogwarts, the Sorting Hat asks us which house we're hoping for and then place us there, which will be the same house Rowan was placed in.
Now this looks tons of fun, right? Right. And it is. For a while. We get to complete missions in the story, where we get closer and closer to find what happened to our brother Jacob, and also learn spells, potions and how to fly properly with Madam Hooch (who is somehow better at Divination than Trelawney and manages to name a broom, Firebolt, which will only be released in the future). The problem is that it's an energy-based game. So we're living our Hogwarts magical dreams... until we run out of energy. You need energy to complete most of the game's tasks and then you have to wait for it to fill up to free before we can continue playing. Of course, you can refill your energy by using some gems, the game’s premium currency, but it costs real money. We also have to wait around 3h for the next tasks... It's basically just a very long waiting game... And I don't like to be kept waiting. Also, it's not like we haven't already done our waiting, twelve years of it, in Azkaban!
Another subject I'd like to point out is our characters customization, or the lack of thereof. We don't have a lot of options to start with (we could've had it all with The Sims - Hogwarts Mystery) and most of the actual customization costs either a huge amount of in-game galleons or gems (again, the paid ones) so we're reduced to a short amount of options if you're a poor Weasley, or just don't want to spend money with the game. Even if you're willing to put your actual money in the game, there aren't a lot of options either so I'd save your money.
Finally, let me just mention a few more issues. We don't have access to all locations at once, but rather we get access to them as we move up in years at Hogwarts. For example, I understand how a first-year can't get into the Divination classroom but it makes no sense to me to have the Owlery unlocked only in the sixth year. I mean, I come from a magical family, they're going to get worried if I don't communicate with them for six years! I also haven't figured out the housecup points system, who decides (and how) which house is winning?
Now, will I continue to play this? Absolutely, I will stay with it until the very end, or until there's no more years to level up to (also, I want to know what happened to my brother!). I would even keep playing if Portkey Games added life after Hogwarts such as jobs and eventually meeting Harry's timeline, playing as a side character, just minding my own bussiness, and we happen to cross paths sometimes with Harry and his friends (in Hogsmeade or Hogwarts, for example). Just a suggestion I leave here, leave it or take it, Portkey Games!
Personally, I'm really curious about the whole Jacob issue and I also want to know who teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts! What about you, did you install the game? What are your thoughts on it?
It starts in 1984, a bit after Harry defeated Voldemort for the first time, and it features characters known from the books during their student years like Bill and Charlie Weasley, Nymphadora Tonks and teachers who were working at Hogwarts during that time such as Hagrid, Snape, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Flitwick and Madam Hooch. We also see Filch and Ms. Norris, who are as detestable as always.
Our journey begins creating our character before arriving at Diagon Alley where twe meet Rowan Khanna who advises us to purchase our books from Flourish and Blotts and we then become friends, after getting our names straight. Afterwards, we get a wand from Ollivanders and we find out we have a brother, Jacob, who went missing and, depending on the answer we select in response, we will receive one possible wand wood and core out of three possible ones. We arrive at Hogwarts, the Sorting Hat asks us which house we're hoping for and then place us there, which will be the same house Rowan was placed in.
Now this looks tons of fun, right? Right. And it is. For a while. We get to complete missions in the story, where we get closer and closer to find what happened to our brother Jacob, and also learn spells, potions and how to fly properly with Madam Hooch (who is somehow better at Divination than Trelawney and manages to name a broom, Firebolt, which will only be released in the future). The problem is that it's an energy-based game. So we're living our Hogwarts magical dreams... until we run out of energy. You need energy to complete most of the game's tasks and then you have to wait for it to fill up to free before we can continue playing. Of course, you can refill your energy by using some gems, the game’s premium currency, but it costs real money. We also have to wait around 3h for the next tasks... It's basically just a very long waiting game... And I don't like to be kept waiting. Also, it's not like we haven't already done our waiting, twelve years of it, in Azkaban!
Another subject I'd like to point out is our characters customization, or the lack of thereof. We don't have a lot of options to start with (we could've had it all with The Sims - Hogwarts Mystery) and most of the actual customization costs either a huge amount of in-game galleons or gems (again, the paid ones) so we're reduced to a short amount of options if you're a poor Weasley, or just don't want to spend money with the game. Even if you're willing to put your actual money in the game, there aren't a lot of options either so I'd save your money.
Finally, let me just mention a few more issues. We don't have access to all locations at once, but rather we get access to them as we move up in years at Hogwarts. For example, I understand how a first-year can't get into the Divination classroom but it makes no sense to me to have the Owlery unlocked only in the sixth year. I mean, I come from a magical family, they're going to get worried if I don't communicate with them for six years! I also haven't figured out the housecup points system, who decides (and how) which house is winning?
Now, will I continue to play this? Absolutely, I will stay with it until the very end, or until there's no more years to level up to (also, I want to know what happened to my brother!). I would even keep playing if Portkey Games added life after Hogwarts such as jobs and eventually meeting Harry's timeline, playing as a side character, just minding my own bussiness, and we happen to cross paths sometimes with Harry and his friends (in Hogsmeade or Hogwarts, for example). Just a suggestion I leave here, leave it or take it, Portkey Games!
Personally, I'm really curious about the whole Jacob issue and I also want to know who teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts! What about you, did you install the game? What are your thoughts on it?
Friday 20 April 2018
Movie Review: The Shape of Water (2017)
When my boyfriend came up to me after having just seen this movie and started talking it, I thought that it had all the potential for a post here. I suggested him so and he accepted the challenge! Despite the fact that I'm in Berlin (do expect a post about the trip very soon), I present you his review of The Shape of Water (2017), a film that won 4 Oscars and 9 nominations. I would like to previously advice you that he didn't have the patience to watch the whole movie, jumped several parts and the review is slightly PG-13.
“The Shape of Water (2017) is a movie that doesn't deceive the viewer. The movie poster shows kind of salmon with human limbs clinging to a woman, and that's what this movie is all about: the love story between a grown-up fish and a lady with not so many words.
The movie begins by showing us any US military facility where a man who looks like a fish, or a fish that looks like a man, or something like that... probably a fish that always wanted to be a man, and now, with a more transgender friendly society, has decided to step out of the closet. The reason why this fish appears to be taken to the military base isn't well understood. He appears and there we have it, without warning, being dragged with some grunts. It was probably caught in some lake or river. Unfortunately, life's like this sometimes. A person spends money on good bait, and then instead of fishing for a beautiful trout, it comes up with a fish with legs, arms and a mustache.
Throughout the movie, the man/fish isn't well received by some sort of FBI store manager who works at those facilities. As soon as he sets his sights on the transfish, he's suddenly reluctant, and that's the motto of the rest of the film: The inspector trying to kill the hairy sargo. I didn't get the reason for this hatred on the inspector's side, perhaps it's just because he's someone who didn't tolerate the stink of fish.
I must add that in the middle of it all a mute maid appears who, and this is the point that must be stressed: falls in love with the fish ... and decides to have sex with him. Why, her reasons, and, more importantly, why the need to present us with this sample of XXX subordinate to fish farming isn't well understood. However, it should be mentioned this same lady is indeed a peculiar person from a sexual point of view. At the beginning of the film, the director decides to show us twice the lady masturbating in the bathtub. So far nothing against that, and depending on the sexyness of the actress, I even support it. However, there is a curious detail: she always times her masturbation with one of those egg-shaped timers that people use to cook. Why? No idea. Maybe she's a very organized person who plans her time well. Maybe not. Maybe she's a lady who has always wanted to set a record of reaching the orgasm and enter the Guiness. Maybe not. There's some reason behind this, and this is the great and fundamental question that remains unanswered about this film.
In the end, the mute maid tries to save the fish. Both end at the bottom of the river like a kind of Romeo and Juliet but with more scales and gills.
Final Note: I didn't like it. I found it boring, with little development and too predictable. 4 out of 10.”
It seems to me, therefore, that this film is a second Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014), a film that also received 4 Oscars and 5 nominations but that I couldn't at all undestrand what it is that people saw about it. One thing is certain: I'm not at all interested in watching The Shape of Water. And you, have you watched it? Do you have the same opinion as my boyfriend?
“The Shape of Water (2017) is a movie that doesn't deceive the viewer. The movie poster shows kind of salmon with human limbs clinging to a woman, and that's what this movie is all about: the love story between a grown-up fish and a lady with not so many words.
The movie begins by showing us any US military facility where a man who looks like a fish, or a fish that looks like a man, or something like that... probably a fish that always wanted to be a man, and now, with a more transgender friendly society, has decided to step out of the closet. The reason why this fish appears to be taken to the military base isn't well understood. He appears and there we have it, without warning, being dragged with some grunts. It was probably caught in some lake or river. Unfortunately, life's like this sometimes. A person spends money on good bait, and then instead of fishing for a beautiful trout, it comes up with a fish with legs, arms and a mustache.
Throughout the movie, the man/fish isn't well received by some sort of FBI store manager who works at those facilities. As soon as he sets his sights on the transfish, he's suddenly reluctant, and that's the motto of the rest of the film: The inspector trying to kill the hairy sargo. I didn't get the reason for this hatred on the inspector's side, perhaps it's just because he's someone who didn't tolerate the stink of fish.
I must add that in the middle of it all a mute maid appears who, and this is the point that must be stressed: falls in love with the fish ... and decides to have sex with him. Why, her reasons, and, more importantly, why the need to present us with this sample of XXX subordinate to fish farming isn't well understood. However, it should be mentioned this same lady is indeed a peculiar person from a sexual point of view. At the beginning of the film, the director decides to show us twice the lady masturbating in the bathtub. So far nothing against that, and depending on the sexyness of the actress, I even support it. However, there is a curious detail: she always times her masturbation with one of those egg-shaped timers that people use to cook. Why? No idea. Maybe she's a very organized person who plans her time well. Maybe not. Maybe she's a lady who has always wanted to set a record of reaching the orgasm and enter the Guiness. Maybe not. There's some reason behind this, and this is the great and fundamental question that remains unanswered about this film.
In the end, the mute maid tries to save the fish. Both end at the bottom of the river like a kind of Romeo and Juliet but with more scales and gills.
Final Note: I didn't like it. I found it boring, with little development and too predictable. 4 out of 10.”
It seems to me, therefore, that this film is a second Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014), a film that also received 4 Oscars and 5 nominations but that I couldn't at all undestrand what it is that people saw about it. One thing is certain: I'm not at all interested in watching The Shape of Water. And you, have you watched it? Do you have the same opinion as my boyfriend?
Sunday 15 April 2018
A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban
My 20-year-old godson is back at it again, with his Harry Potter movie journey, this time with his Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) review!
“In Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban we find the main character again at his evil uncles' house but already a teenager, contrary to the previous chapters. We expect, therefore, typical teenager behaviours: pouting, rebellings and developing a peach fuzz. Well, we don't have to wait long until we see Harry Potter blowing up an aunt, kicking the furniture, and running away from home. In short: typical magical teenager behaviours. The uncles get upset and he ends up leaving the family. Of all the places that could be chosen for refuge on a rainy day after running away from home, our beloved wizard prefers to shelter himself in a cursed playground. Luckily, he doesn't stay there for long. He is rescued by a very weird bus where he makes troubled a trip by London's streets. One of those crazy people from the Knockturn Alley (hunchback and looking very closely at other people) comes in the bus calling Harry into a kind of tavern where his friends are.
When you think the bus trip was already weird enough, on the train trip to Hogwarts a creature appears freezing everything and starting to suck Harry's face. Their compartment is share with a homeless man wrapped in a blanket that wakes and points a light to the creature, which causes it to go away. This beggar later gives Harry Potter a chocolate. I fully understand that he couldn't offer anything else but the truth is that Harry is now a teenager: you can give chocolates to a child but toasting a teenager with sweets is halfway to get them pissed off for receiving candy instead of a mobile phone. Upon arrival at Hogwarts, Dumbledore announces that Hagrid and Lupin (the beggar on the train) are the new teachers. On their first night at Hogwarts, Harry joins a group of friends and plays a teenage game probably involving some kind of narcotic drugs that change the voice of those who eat them.
The highlight of the film is the fight between Harry Potter and three vagabonds: Lupin, Sirius Black and a fat man who was inside Ron's rat. Two of them turn into dogs and the other one into a mouse and they all end up running away. Harry Potter, despite being the best sorcerer in the world, isn't able catch a mouse and two dogs. During the film his only accomplishment was to mount a giant pyriquito, not managing any other feat in animal area.
Characters that stood out in this movie:
Hagrid
He is promoted to Professor, but his lack of experience is notorious. The last time he took children into the woods they were almost attacked by Voldemort, but he still thought it was a good idea to take them to the woods for their first class. Another mistake was to put a bug that likes to be respected in front of teenagers who like to disrespect. Everyone knows that teenagers aren't very polite so it was predictable that, sooner or later, some young man would be kicked by the distinguished bird. Hagrid isn't fired because, judging by his meals (always tea), the hut where he lives and his clothes, he doesn't earn a big salary already. Still, because of this lesson, Malfoy is the one who gets kicks and consequently the animal is doomed to death.
Sirius Black
Early on it's understood that it will be Harry Potter's new enemy. He was the first sorcerer to escape from Azkaban, which gives him some prestige. But when he enters Hogwarts, the best he can do is putting a fat woman next to black pig in one of the school's pictures. When we realize that he is a beggar and also turns into a wolf, it is easy to conclude that Professor Lupin, another homeless man and possible werewolf, will be his friend. In the end Harry Potter and him are very close friends.
Lupin
He's proof that Hogwarts goes from bad to worse. After two failed hires, the third time could be the charm and they could even get a decent teacher. I think this is an unrealistic belief, since to have good teachers you need good wages and the first contact we have with him is sleeping wrapped in a blanket on a train seat. I think he's homeless, and goes to Hogwarts to teach in exchange for accommodation. He seems to be quite a nice man, but the second time he gave Harry some chocolate, I began to mistrust him. Why so much chocolate? Nobody gives this much chocolate to someone else without asking anything in return. It sure is poisoned. He has to be trying to traffic Voldemort in chocolate bars. If Voldemort can get into Harry's body by this mean it can be a good plan, depending on the amount of chocolate ingested.
In conclusion, in this episode we don't see Voldemort but we know that the plump man is made up with him because he's the only one with a bald head. It's in this movie that the Hogwarts School of Magic goes into decline. Underpaid teachers and insufficient safety show that this institution has had better days. It's the third teacher resigning... Three films and they still haven't found the right man for the position.”
Don't miss out on his next review on the Goblet of Fire! If you haven't read the previous ones so far, you can find them over here:
“In Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban we find the main character again at his evil uncles' house but already a teenager, contrary to the previous chapters. We expect, therefore, typical teenager behaviours: pouting, rebellings and developing a peach fuzz. Well, we don't have to wait long until we see Harry Potter blowing up an aunt, kicking the furniture, and running away from home. In short: typical magical teenager behaviours. The uncles get upset and he ends up leaving the family. Of all the places that could be chosen for refuge on a rainy day after running away from home, our beloved wizard prefers to shelter himself in a cursed playground. Luckily, he doesn't stay there for long. He is rescued by a very weird bus where he makes troubled a trip by London's streets. One of those crazy people from the Knockturn Alley (hunchback and looking very closely at other people) comes in the bus calling Harry into a kind of tavern where his friends are.
When you think the bus trip was already weird enough, on the train trip to Hogwarts a creature appears freezing everything and starting to suck Harry's face. Their compartment is share with a homeless man wrapped in a blanket that wakes and points a light to the creature, which causes it to go away. This beggar later gives Harry Potter a chocolate. I fully understand that he couldn't offer anything else but the truth is that Harry is now a teenager: you can give chocolates to a child but toasting a teenager with sweets is halfway to get them pissed off for receiving candy instead of a mobile phone. Upon arrival at Hogwarts, Dumbledore announces that Hagrid and Lupin (the beggar on the train) are the new teachers. On their first night at Hogwarts, Harry joins a group of friends and plays a teenage game probably involving some kind of narcotic drugs that change the voice of those who eat them.
The highlight of the film is the fight between Harry Potter and three vagabonds: Lupin, Sirius Black and a fat man who was inside Ron's rat. Two of them turn into dogs and the other one into a mouse and they all end up running away. Harry Potter, despite being the best sorcerer in the world, isn't able catch a mouse and two dogs. During the film his only accomplishment was to mount a giant pyriquito, not managing any other feat in animal area.
Characters that stood out in this movie:
Hagrid
He is promoted to Professor, but his lack of experience is notorious. The last time he took children into the woods they were almost attacked by Voldemort, but he still thought it was a good idea to take them to the woods for their first class. Another mistake was to put a bug that likes to be respected in front of teenagers who like to disrespect. Everyone knows that teenagers aren't very polite so it was predictable that, sooner or later, some young man would be kicked by the distinguished bird. Hagrid isn't fired because, judging by his meals (always tea), the hut where he lives and his clothes, he doesn't earn a big salary already. Still, because of this lesson, Malfoy is the one who gets kicks and consequently the animal is doomed to death.
Sirius Black
Early on it's understood that it will be Harry Potter's new enemy. He was the first sorcerer to escape from Azkaban, which gives him some prestige. But when he enters Hogwarts, the best he can do is putting a fat woman next to black pig in one of the school's pictures. When we realize that he is a beggar and also turns into a wolf, it is easy to conclude that Professor Lupin, another homeless man and possible werewolf, will be his friend. In the end Harry Potter and him are very close friends.
Lupin
He's proof that Hogwarts goes from bad to worse. After two failed hires, the third time could be the charm and they could even get a decent teacher. I think this is an unrealistic belief, since to have good teachers you need good wages and the first contact we have with him is sleeping wrapped in a blanket on a train seat. I think he's homeless, and goes to Hogwarts to teach in exchange for accommodation. He seems to be quite a nice man, but the second time he gave Harry some chocolate, I began to mistrust him. Why so much chocolate? Nobody gives this much chocolate to someone else without asking anything in return. It sure is poisoned. He has to be trying to traffic Voldemort in chocolate bars. If Voldemort can get into Harry's body by this mean it can be a good plan, depending on the amount of chocolate ingested.
In conclusion, in this episode we don't see Voldemort but we know that the plump man is made up with him because he's the only one with a bald head. It's in this movie that the Hogwarts School of Magic goes into decline. Underpaid teachers and insufficient safety show that this institution has had better days. It's the third teacher resigning... Three films and they still haven't found the right man for the position.”
Don't miss out on his next review on the Goblet of Fire! If you haven't read the previous ones so far, you can find them over here:
Sunday 8 April 2018
The "BBC" Book List Challenge
What is the BBC book list, you may ask? I learned about it this week and it's a list of 100 books which has been widely circulated on the Internet with the tagline "The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books on this list. How many have you read?"
Apparently, though, this list wasn't created or endorsed by the BBC since on their site there are no quotes, articles, or any mention whatsoever about the 6 book number. Do you remember back in 2009/2010 when there were notes on people's profiles of lists with questions and whatsoever all over Facebook? Do you feel old yet? Yes, it seems like that is exactly how this meme list started: going arround the internet, making people feel better about themselves for having read over 6 books of a list. I've seen worse memes.
The average Goodreads member has read 23 out of 100 books on this list. I have read 16 (marked with ✔) and 12 are still on my to read list (marked with ✉) so basically, if I didn't always read other books instead of sticking to me to read list I would have read 28 books and would be above the average Goodreads member. I'll get there someday, though. How about you? How many of these have you read? Let me know!
1. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by J.K. Rowling ✔
2. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown ✔
3. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee ✉
4. Animal Farm by George Orwell
5. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry ✔
6. 1984 by George Orwell ✉
7. The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
8. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
9. Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë ✔
10. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
11. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien ✔
12. Lord of the Flies by William Golding ✉
13. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
14. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
15. Life of Pi by Yann Martel ✉
16. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen ✔
17. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë ✔
18. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
19. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger ✔
20. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott ✔
21. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
22. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass by Lewis Carroll
23. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
24. Charlotte's Web by E.B. White
25. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
26. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl ✔
27. Atonement by Ian McEwan
28. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald ✉
29. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez
30. The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis ✔
31. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
32. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen ✔
33. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
34. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
35. Dracula by Bram Stoker ✔
36. Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez
37. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
38. The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas
39. Holy Bible
40. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
41. Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding
42. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
43. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens ✉
44. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
45. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley ✉
46. Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie
47. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
48. Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
49. Persuasion by Jane Austen ✔
50. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold ✉
51. The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón
52. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
53. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
54. His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman
55. Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne
56. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery
57. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
58. The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
59. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
60. On the Road by Jack Kerouac
61. Moby-Dick or, The Whale by Herman Melville ✔
62. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
63. Emma by Jane Austen
64. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon ✉
65. The Complete Works by William Shakespeare
66. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood ✉
67. Les Misérables by Victor Hugo
68. A Town Like Alice by Nevil Shute
69. Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
70. Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens ✔
71. A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
72. Middlemarch by George Eliot
73. David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
74. Bleak House by Charles Dickens
75. Brideshead Revisited: The Sacred and Profane Memories of Captain Charles Ryder by Evelyn Waugh
76. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
77. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath ✉
78. Possession by A.S. Byatt
79. The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
80. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle
81. The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro
82. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
83. The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins
84. Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
85. Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell
86. The Faraway Tree Collection by Enid Blyton
87. Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks
88. Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernières
89. Dune by Frank Herbert
90. Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons
91. Watership Down by Richard Adams
92. A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth
93. The Secret History by Donna Tartt ✉
94. Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
95. Notes from a Small Island by Bill Bryson
96. Ulysses by James Joyce
97. Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome
98. Germinal by Émile Zola
99. The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks
100. A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
Apparently, though, this list wasn't created or endorsed by the BBC since on their site there are no quotes, articles, or any mention whatsoever about the 6 book number. Do you remember back in 2009/2010 when there were notes on people's profiles of lists with questions and whatsoever all over Facebook? Do you feel old yet? Yes, it seems like that is exactly how this meme list started: going arround the internet, making people feel better about themselves for having read over 6 books of a list. I've seen worse memes.
The average Goodreads member has read 23 out of 100 books on this list. I have read 16 (marked with ✔) and 12 are still on my to read list (marked with ✉) so basically, if I didn't always read other books instead of sticking to me to read list I would have read 28 books and would be above the average Goodreads member. I'll get there someday, though. How about you? How many of these have you read? Let me know!
1. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by J.K. Rowling ✔
2. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown ✔
3. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee ✉
4. Animal Farm by George Orwell
5. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry ✔
6. 1984 by George Orwell ✉
7. The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
8. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
9. Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë ✔
10. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
11. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien ✔
12. Lord of the Flies by William Golding ✉
13. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
14. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
15. Life of Pi by Yann Martel ✉
16. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen ✔
17. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë ✔
18. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
19. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger ✔
20. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott ✔
21. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
22. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass by Lewis Carroll
23. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
24. Charlotte's Web by E.B. White
25. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
26. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl ✔
27. Atonement by Ian McEwan
28. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald ✉
29. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez
30. The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis ✔
31. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
32. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen ✔
33. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
34. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
35. Dracula by Bram Stoker ✔
36. Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez
37. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
38. The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas
39. Holy Bible
40. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
41. Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding
42. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
43. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens ✉
44. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
45. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley ✉
46. Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie
47. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
48. Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
49. Persuasion by Jane Austen ✔
50. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold ✉
51. The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón
52. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
53. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
54. His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman
55. Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne
56. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery
57. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
58. The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
59. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
60. On the Road by Jack Kerouac
61. Moby-Dick or, The Whale by Herman Melville ✔
62. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
63. Emma by Jane Austen
64. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon ✉
65. The Complete Works by William Shakespeare
66. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood ✉
67. Les Misérables by Victor Hugo
68. A Town Like Alice by Nevil Shute
69. Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
70. Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens ✔
71. A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
72. Middlemarch by George Eliot
73. David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
74. Bleak House by Charles Dickens
75. Brideshead Revisited: The Sacred and Profane Memories of Captain Charles Ryder by Evelyn Waugh
76. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
77. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath ✉
78. Possession by A.S. Byatt
79. The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
80. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle
81. The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro
82. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
83. The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins
84. Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
85. Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell
86. The Faraway Tree Collection by Enid Blyton
87. Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks
88. Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernières
89. Dune by Frank Herbert
90. Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons
91. Watership Down by Richard Adams
92. A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth
93. The Secret History by Donna Tartt ✉
94. Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
95. Notes from a Small Island by Bill Bryson
96. Ulysses by James Joyce
97. Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome
98. Germinal by Émile Zola
99. The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks
100. A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
Sunday 1 April 2018
A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Chamber Of Secrets
Do you remember my 20-year-old godson who'd never seen the Harry Potter films? Two weeks ago he spoke about the Philosopher's Stone and this week he has returned with Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)!
“Harry Potter is back home with his uncles. This time they aren't as much fun but a lot crueler even though the introductory scenes are rather comical because of Dobby, who stuffs a cake in the face of a woman. Harry's uncles think that is his responsibility so they lock him in the bedroom to not cause any more inconvenience. They are partly right, since he's so powerful after all and he can't move a cake? I believe he could have done more so the old woman wouldn't have gotten all dirty.
During Harry's imprisonment, Ron and two of his brothers appear driving their father's flying car and use it to pull the bars out of the window of Harry's room to save him. Harry is welcomed into the Weasleys'. After a short period there, they end up traveling to Diagon Alley setting fire to a chimney but the main character ends up in a land of crazy people. In this place everyone has a hunchback and looks very closely at other people. Coincidentally, Hagrid is also there and he ends up pointing the way to the Weasleys. After Harry lands on the cover of a magazine and receives some books as a reward, they prepare their return to Hogwarts. At the station everyone can enter the hidden platform, except for the young man with glasses and his redhead friend who bump against a wall and catch the attention of many people. They then choose to take Ron's father's car and fly to Hogwarts as an alternative to the train ride. As they don't know how to drive flying cars, they end up landing on a tree that moves and the teachers of the school get quite annoyed. For these mischieves they end up being both punished and Ron also receives a paper that scorns him.
During his punishment, Harry, while helping the new teacher respond to his admirers' letters of, starts hearing voices in his head. His colleagues think he's kind of nuts. It is also at this point that I develop my theory about Professor Lockhart that I'll tell you about later. The three main characters find the caretaker's petrified cat, wet floor and graffitis on the wall. They are accused of the graffiti and the cat's petrification, but nobody talks about the wet floor! Since no one has evidence against them, nothing happens, but everyone keeps an eye on them.
Later, they had a lesson that consisted of one of the most classic games of spoiled children: turning pets into glasses. During this lesson they also become aware of the existence of the Chamber of Secrets. There's a sort of battle between Harry and Draco on a dining room table. Incredibly, instead of putting an end to such antics, the teachers still find it amusing and engage on it. Would they come to my house to do spells on the table where people eat and I would give them some battle! At some point, one of the kids sends a snake to the table and the other begins to try to charm it! A good slap on their butts is how they should have been punished because you do don't sutff like that in the place where the meals are eaten! Of course, one of the teachers is also sick of this joke and sets fire to the snake to finish once and for all with the filth. Snakes are dirty animals, and if it's already reprehensible that people put their feet on the table, what about a snake whose feet are the full length of its body?!
The trio of friends decided that to get more information about the chamber of secrets, it was essential to be masked as fat. I don't know to what extent a fat man has more access to confidential information than a skinny one. No one will be able to take this out my head, but before they went to talk to Malfoy, I believe they were enjoying the fact that they had their stomach temporarily expanded to eat all sorts of sweets. Hence the pain of the stomach of the right fat man and the short time that the potion was active. They spent all the time baling on treats and then didn't have time to do the actual work! Harry and Ron find the blank diary of Tom Marvolo Riddle. People find it very amusing to give blank notebooks on Christmas and then kids use them to clog the sink since they don't like to write and almost flood an entire school! At the end of the movie, Harry manages to kill a giant snake and save Ron's sister's life.”
Some of the characters that caught his attention in this film:
“Snape: I still think Snape is a bad lot. When Harry and Ron arrived at Hogwarts, he was quick to snitch them to Dumbledore. And later, he chose Malfoy to play spells against the Potter, in which they made each other fly with wand blows.
Lockhart: He's the new vain Hogwarts teacher. It is clear that Lockhart is a writer with many fans who get carried away by their stories of danger and adventure. In other words, he's a swaggerer. I always suspect characters who play pretty-man role. Such a blond and brave man, full of fans, has to have some flaw but at this point in the film still didn't raise any suspicions. When Harry Potter gets punished with Lockhart, he begins to hear voices and it's here that I develop my theory about this daring teacher! Obviously, with the death of the nice Professor Quirrell, Voldemort needed to find some way to upset Potter. Well, all the seemingly appetizing and masculine men in the movies have an embarrassing secret, with a few exceptions in action films. It was clear to me what Lockhart's secret was: The Professor had also caught Voldemort in his bald head! Watching his head, we can see that he actually wears a little toupee on top of Voldemort so no one will notice! It would be unlikely that a man of that age still had a large, well-treated blonde hair. Using wigs promotes sweat accumulation at the nape of the neck, a propitious environment to fungi and malefic wizards. Throughout the film we realise that, in addition to hiding the killer of Harry Potter's parents in the hairstyle, he is also a crook when it comes to all his knowledge and achievements!
(I'm going to make a couple of suggestions to Dumbledore and Hogwarts in general: First of all, hire a new scout to find teachers, since it's already the second time that the current one hires teachers with Voldemort in their head. Secondly, since you're so good, at least make up some ointment to put on your head to prevent Voldemort's appearance!)
Lockhart is an expert on the memory charm spell, and this is how he managed to steal the stories of other wizards without being caught. At the end of the movie, he tries to erase Harry and Ron's memory but Ron's wand sent the spell back and it was Lockhart himself that ended up being charmed and got a bit daft.
Voldemort: After all, he wasn't hidden in anyone's bald spot in this movie. The mighty sorcerer took the form of a young man of fifty years ago. This was an astute decision and now his behaviours are unpredictable. We realize how bad Voldemort is when he tries to blame Hagrid and his pet spider for opening the chamber of secrets.
The Malfoys: Both father and son are already annoying me and I hope that in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban they receive their due punishment even though I find it hard to believe.
In conclusion, this is a film that doesn't disappoint. The viewer spends two hours watching Harry Potter run on wet ground and in the end he finally slides and falls. It has a slightly more intricate plot than the previous chapter but even so, I think I managed to understand almost everything. This time Voldemort was not in anyone's bald spot, which puts me in a difficult position to predict his next whereabouts.”
Don't miss out on his next review about the Prisoner of Azkaban! If you haven't read the previous one so far, you can find it over here:
“Harry Potter is back home with his uncles. This time they aren't as much fun but a lot crueler even though the introductory scenes are rather comical because of Dobby, who stuffs a cake in the face of a woman. Harry's uncles think that is his responsibility so they lock him in the bedroom to not cause any more inconvenience. They are partly right, since he's so powerful after all and he can't move a cake? I believe he could have done more so the old woman wouldn't have gotten all dirty.
During Harry's imprisonment, Ron and two of his brothers appear driving their father's flying car and use it to pull the bars out of the window of Harry's room to save him. Harry is welcomed into the Weasleys'. After a short period there, they end up traveling to Diagon Alley setting fire to a chimney but the main character ends up in a land of crazy people. In this place everyone has a hunchback and looks very closely at other people. Coincidentally, Hagrid is also there and he ends up pointing the way to the Weasleys. After Harry lands on the cover of a magazine and receives some books as a reward, they prepare their return to Hogwarts. At the station everyone can enter the hidden platform, except for the young man with glasses and his redhead friend who bump against a wall and catch the attention of many people. They then choose to take Ron's father's car and fly to Hogwarts as an alternative to the train ride. As they don't know how to drive flying cars, they end up landing on a tree that moves and the teachers of the school get quite annoyed. For these mischieves they end up being both punished and Ron also receives a paper that scorns him.
During his punishment, Harry, while helping the new teacher respond to his admirers' letters of, starts hearing voices in his head. His colleagues think he's kind of nuts. It is also at this point that I develop my theory about Professor Lockhart that I'll tell you about later. The three main characters find the caretaker's petrified cat, wet floor and graffitis on the wall. They are accused of the graffiti and the cat's petrification, but nobody talks about the wet floor! Since no one has evidence against them, nothing happens, but everyone keeps an eye on them.
Later, they had a lesson that consisted of one of the most classic games of spoiled children: turning pets into glasses. During this lesson they also become aware of the existence of the Chamber of Secrets. There's a sort of battle between Harry and Draco on a dining room table. Incredibly, instead of putting an end to such antics, the teachers still find it amusing and engage on it. Would they come to my house to do spells on the table where people eat and I would give them some battle! At some point, one of the kids sends a snake to the table and the other begins to try to charm it! A good slap on their butts is how they should have been punished because you do don't sutff like that in the place where the meals are eaten! Of course, one of the teachers is also sick of this joke and sets fire to the snake to finish once and for all with the filth. Snakes are dirty animals, and if it's already reprehensible that people put their feet on the table, what about a snake whose feet are the full length of its body?!
The trio of friends decided that to get more information about the chamber of secrets, it was essential to be masked as fat. I don't know to what extent a fat man has more access to confidential information than a skinny one. No one will be able to take this out my head, but before they went to talk to Malfoy, I believe they were enjoying the fact that they had their stomach temporarily expanded to eat all sorts of sweets. Hence the pain of the stomach of the right fat man and the short time that the potion was active. They spent all the time baling on treats and then didn't have time to do the actual work! Harry and Ron find the blank diary of Tom Marvolo Riddle. People find it very amusing to give blank notebooks on Christmas and then kids use them to clog the sink since they don't like to write and almost flood an entire school! At the end of the movie, Harry manages to kill a giant snake and save Ron's sister's life.”
Some of the characters that caught his attention in this film:
“Snape: I still think Snape is a bad lot. When Harry and Ron arrived at Hogwarts, he was quick to snitch them to Dumbledore. And later, he chose Malfoy to play spells against the Potter, in which they made each other fly with wand blows.
Lockhart: He's the new vain Hogwarts teacher. It is clear that Lockhart is a writer with many fans who get carried away by their stories of danger and adventure. In other words, he's a swaggerer. I always suspect characters who play pretty-man role. Such a blond and brave man, full of fans, has to have some flaw but at this point in the film still didn't raise any suspicions. When Harry Potter gets punished with Lockhart, he begins to hear voices and it's here that I develop my theory about this daring teacher! Obviously, with the death of the nice Professor Quirrell, Voldemort needed to find some way to upset Potter. Well, all the seemingly appetizing and masculine men in the movies have an embarrassing secret, with a few exceptions in action films. It was clear to me what Lockhart's secret was: The Professor had also caught Voldemort in his bald head! Watching his head, we can see that he actually wears a little toupee on top of Voldemort so no one will notice! It would be unlikely that a man of that age still had a large, well-treated blonde hair. Using wigs promotes sweat accumulation at the nape of the neck, a propitious environment to fungi and malefic wizards. Throughout the film we realise that, in addition to hiding the killer of Harry Potter's parents in the hairstyle, he is also a crook when it comes to all his knowledge and achievements!
(I'm going to make a couple of suggestions to Dumbledore and Hogwarts in general: First of all, hire a new scout to find teachers, since it's already the second time that the current one hires teachers with Voldemort in their head. Secondly, since you're so good, at least make up some ointment to put on your head to prevent Voldemort's appearance!)
Lockhart is an expert on the memory charm spell, and this is how he managed to steal the stories of other wizards without being caught. At the end of the movie, he tries to erase Harry and Ron's memory but Ron's wand sent the spell back and it was Lockhart himself that ended up being charmed and got a bit daft.
Voldemort: After all, he wasn't hidden in anyone's bald spot in this movie. The mighty sorcerer took the form of a young man of fifty years ago. This was an astute decision and now his behaviours are unpredictable. We realize how bad Voldemort is when he tries to blame Hagrid and his pet spider for opening the chamber of secrets.
The Malfoys: Both father and son are already annoying me and I hope that in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban they receive their due punishment even though I find it hard to believe.
In conclusion, this is a film that doesn't disappoint. The viewer spends two hours watching Harry Potter run on wet ground and in the end he finally slides and falls. It has a slightly more intricate plot than the previous chapter but even so, I think I managed to understand almost everything. This time Voldemort was not in anyone's bald spot, which puts me in a difficult position to predict his next whereabouts.”
Don't miss out on his next review about the Prisoner of Azkaban! If you haven't read the previous one so far, you can find it over here:
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